Reader, unfortunately this topic does not bring the best out of us as Christian leaders. Across some 30 years of going to all forms of Christian churches, I can say with some certainty that there are very few who teach the precise word of God on this topic. Some churches “mainly Pentecostal” tend to be far to liberal in their allowance of divorce and remarriage, and some churches such as the Independent Baptists tend to be destructively legalistic.

The Ambitious Project

24 months ago, I set out to do something I had never seen nor heard of. I planned to map out every single potential case and causation of divorce, and then systematically work through the word of God and assign the relevant rules and how they apply to both the husband and wife in each case when looking at remarriage. I identified more than 40 different cases based on differences of offence, to differences between the offending gender. What I can tell you about the results of this project is,

1. I failed to obtain the ultimate objective; scripture cannot be used to give us a precise position for every single scenario regarding ordained remarriage.
2. The word of God does indeed treat women and men differently in some cases regarding topic.
3. There should be “some” allowance given to leaders and their erroneous teachings based on this complex topic.

• Romans 15:4 For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.
• 2 Peter 3:16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.

Scripture itself tells us that it can be complex, and it require us to have patience when learning and deciphering. It also tells us to be smart, and patient when learning that we might come to understand it.

Separating the Clear from the Ambiguous

God hates all divorce. This is clear from scripture,

• Malachi 2:16 For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away:

However, God does not call divorce sin,

• Matthew 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement:
• Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

It is fascinating that Matthew gives a clear and concise instruction here to issue a divorce certificate. I find this compelling that nowhere is the bible are we given instructions to sin. Most Christians confuse the sin of adultery or fornication with divorce, and immediately imply that if you are guilt of one you are guilty of both.

The act of divorce itself is not sin, adultery and causing your spouse to commit adultery is.

Let’s be Realistic

I love facts, even if these facts do not present themselves in normal day to day life. The fact is divorce itself is not sin, however I am far too aware that almost every human that endures a divorce will ultimately become sexually intimate with another, which is an act of sin even though it instantly becomes another marriage.

• 1 Corinthians 6:16 What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.

During counseling I am often asked if divorce is allowed. My next and direct question is, are you proposing to remain celibate for the rest of your life?

Justifiable Divorce & Remarriage

As we have seen above God allows divorce. However, God also allows remarriage. As we learnt in the second paragraph, it is not possible for me to list out all the scenarios that justify remarriage, nor is it possible for me to make an absolute statement on each scenario. Rather we will look at some facts that prove remarriage is ordained by God in some example cases.

• Matthew 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

The key word here is “saving”, G3924 or παρεκτός literally means,

1. except, with the exception of
2. besides

So, we can make the following statement,

If you divorce your spouse because they have committed adultery, this is an exception, and when you remarry you will neither sin, nor cause your new spouse to sin.

• 1 Corinthians 7:15 But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.

The word “bondage” G1402 or δουλόω literally means,

1. to make a slave of, reduce to bondage
2. give myself wholly to one’s needs and service, make myself a bondman to him

The word “peace” G1515 or εἰρήνη literally means,

1. a state of national tranquillity
2. peace between individuals, i.e. harmony, concord

So, we can make the following statement,

If you divorce your unbelieving spouse because they depart, you are no longer a slave to that marriage. You are free and to have total peace. If you are no longer bound to your spouse and have peace you are free to remarry.

Focus

Paradoxically, this topic is the largest topic of discussion with respect to our ministry, and it is the topic I attempt to spend the least amount of time on. God calls leaders to focus, counsel and endure with their flock, hold fast to the covenant of marriage. Nowhere does he either command or allow us to offer divorce freely and quickly to spouses in a troubled or broken marriage. It is for this very reason I have not made this page the longest page in this series of Doctrines. I would have been simple to make this 20 pages long, and miss the mark entirely, our ministry should be reconciliation, repair, uplifting and building our marriages strong even in the midst of the most broken or desperate situations.

Conclusion

Because God hates divorce, our Christian community at large has become ill informed on the topic of Godly divorce and remarriage. We live in a fallen world and Gods word gives us clarity on what we are and are not allowed to do. We should always as Christians do everything in our power both within our marriages and as leaders, to remain married and not depart as the word of God commands. When we find ourselves in situations out of our control Gods word gives both comfort and grace on this topic.